I cringe every time a home seller and buyer contact each other. 

While on the surface, it may seem like a good idea, it is fraught with issues.  Simply put home sellers should avoid talking to home buyers directly to avoid misunderstandings and future liability.

As much as a seller wants to talk to a homebuyer…. don’t! You hired an agent let them do their job.

Home sellers, I know you are just trying to help.  And I know you want to sell your house, but you talk too much!!  This is one of many good reasons agents ask you to vacate your homes during showings.

Whenever I warn a seller about talking directly to a home buyer, they look at me like I have two heads and say they would never do that.  Yet, when the first opportunity arises, they are all over it and the words start coming!! And usually, they are the wrong words!

Top Reasons Why Home Sellers Should Avoid Talking to Home Buyers Directly

The first thought is, what harm does a buyer cause by talking to a seller of a house?

The first two reasons have to do with words.  Words matter, especially when discussing real estate. 

Real estate agents spend much time carefully selecting how they present information.  Much of our training revolves around how we present certain information to avoid liability for both our brokerages and the seller.

You have hired a listing agent to sell your home, you might as well let them handle it.

If you use the wrong words, you have created a liability that could follow you for several years.

Reason #1- Disclosure

Many questions revolve around home buyers wanting to know about the details of the property or neighborhood.

Answering anything with a definitive answer needs to be thought out very carefully.  Do you really know if the roof was replaced in 2010, or are you not sure? 

A great example is when you moved into a house in 2014, you are now selling.  The previous owner states they replaced the roof in 2010 and you tell the buyer it was replaced in 2010. 

However, upon moving in, the buyer found the permit at the town hall because the roof was in “premature” failure, and it was 2000, not 2010 when the roof was replaced.  This can become a litigious issue that you may have to pay for if the home buyer should pursue it. 

Alternatively, if you are not sure, answer accordingly.  Rather than just stating 2010 as the roof replacement, I would say that the previous seller disclosed 2010 but you have not verified whether it is true or not.  Or again I don’t know is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Accuracy Is Vital When Answering Questions Proposed By A Home Buyer

Another common question is where are the property lines.  Without a full property survey with bounds placed at each corner, a seller should never answer that they know with certainty they know where the property lines lay. Yet, agents and sellers do all the time.  Don’t say that XYZ is the boundaries when you are not sure, and, better yet, have the documentation to back it up.

When I am asked a question of a home buyer, I get the answer from the seller, but I often ask how they know that to head off any trouble. 

For example, about property lines, I will ask if they have a survey, which often is a no….  then I will follow up and ask how they know those are the property lines.  Often the answer is that is what the previous owner told me. 

Not good enough to definitively answer the question with exact property lines and stayout of hot water.

Your agent should be the gate keeper of information.  Our job is to have you move on with no liability down the road or have a deal blow up because of something you said. 

If you inadvertently run into a buyer and they start asking questions, request that all questions are directed through your listing agent.  Do not talk to the home buyer or their buyer’s agent.

Reason #2- Fair Housing Laws

Buying and selling real estate is about real property.  Not people.  A

Anytime you start talking about people, you could be going down a slippery slope and violating fair housing laws. 

Yet, home sellers inadvertently violate fair housing laws all the time. 

Thankfully, most buyers are willing to dismiss seemingly innocuous statements and not make an issue about it.  But, you never know if you could have the one person who will.  Fines, penalties, and civil lawsuits are not cheap, revolving around fair housing laws.

What are Fair Housing Laws

Fair housing laws are federal and state laws that prevent a seller, landlord, or agent from refusing to show or sell to a person based on protected classes of people.  This also includes suggesting a particular person belongs or does not belong in a certain neighborhood.

Housing discrimination based on the following categories of people under federal law:

• Race, Color, National Origin
• Religion
• Sex
• Familial Status
• Disability

Massachusetts also adds the following classes:

• Section 8 or Public Assistance
• Sexual Orientation
• Gender Identity and Expression
• Marital Status
• Military or Veteran Status
• Age
• Ancestry

Ok, so you say you would never do that.  But home sellers do.  S

Seemingly benign statements can get you in trouble.  Here are some statements I have actually heard as a Massachusetts buyer’s agent while running into home sellers with my buyers.

“There are two Chinese families that live down the street.”

Upon seeing my clients, they assumed my clients were Chinese, but they were not. It now can be misconstrued that this is a Chinese neighborhood and they are not welcome or because they are Chinese they have to live in this neighborhood.

“This is a great family neighborhood.”

A single man had brought his sister and her two young children on a showing as he wanted his sister’s advice.  The seller assumed they were married and were a family.  Again, that statement is discriminatory, suggesting only married people should live in this neighborhood or only people with children. Marital status is a protected class in Massachusetts.

“We have a great temple across town that was just built; it is beautiful.”

Again, the seller assumed that my clients were of a particular religion, and they were not.  The seller’s statement can now be misconstrued as saying that people of a particular religion should live on the other side of town, not their neighborhood.

And, home sellers have made way more statements over the years violating fair housing laws. 

I don’t believe any of the sellers had any malicious intent. The sellers were trying to be helpful and point out what they thought was essential to the buyers.

The sellers are opening themselves up to fines, penalties and civil lawsuits.  Remember, selling real estate is about real property and not about people.  Avoid talking about people period, it leads to trouble.

The best policy is don’t talk to the buyers directly, let your agent be the conduit for information.

A Word About Buyers “Love” Letters And Violation of Fair Housing Laws

While this does not translate directly to talking to a buyer, it has everything to do with fair housing laws and buyers and sellers communicating with one another.

Lately, a trend has been for home buyers to write a “love” letter telling home sellers how much they love their home and how they want to make it their forever home to raise their family, etc….. 

It has been trendy, especially in situations where there are multiple offers for the seller to choose from.  The hope is the buyer can play on the seller’s emotions.

My recommendation as a listing agent is for the seller not to read a buyers “love” letter.  The danger is a seller picks an offer based on the “love” letter, from the family when there was a similar offer from an unmarried couple.

I have had sellers say, “I really want my house to go to a family to raise their kids as we did in this house.” Furthermore, they may have met the family coming through their home, had a brief chat, and felt a connection, even without the letter.  But never, ever pick an offer based on the people.

The danger is that the decision favors a family because you want your home to continue being a great family home, and you feel connected to the buyer either through their love letter or you actually met them.  Meanwhile, they turned down the same offer from the unmarried couple (Marital Status is a protected class by Massachusetts state law). 

This is a clear violation of fair housing laws. An offer can be included or excluded based on financial consideration, strength of financing, and/or terms and conditions, not on the people behind the offer—the less you know about the people behind the offer, the less chance you can get in trouble.

Reason #3 Sellers Make Wrong Assumptions About Home Buyers

Often, when sellers and buyers run across each other, the exchange is quick, and sellers tend to make quick assumptions.  When an assumption is created, a misstatement will usually follow.

As you can see above, assumptions can get you into trouble regarding fair housing laws. 

But they can also lead to statements that offend buyers or scare them away. In two of the above cases, my buyers were pretty offended that the sellers made assumptions about them.

Everybody is different and you don’t always know how a buyer will react or what will push their buttons.  But, what I can tell you is if you offend a buyer, they may walk away no matter how much they like your home. 

But, fair housing laws aside, say you see a family looking at your home and you want to tell them what a close-knit family neighborhood it is… kids constantly gathering in your yard, neighbors just stopping by to chat, etc…

You may be the type of person who loves that, but who says the potential buyer is looking for exactly what you want?  They could be cringing because they want quiet and privacy.

Or maybe you point out the busy road that always concerned you with the kids and follow up by saying it’s never been a problem. Perhaps the home buyer didn’t think about the busy road, and you have highlighted a negative.

Never make assumptions about home buyers and what they want or need.  A buyer’s agent has spent time getting to know their buyers and generally knows what is important to them in their new home or not.

Reason #4 Misunderstandings

Occasionally a home buyer and seller get together, unbeknownst to both agents and before the closing.  Without an agent present, misunderstandings can undoubtedly arise. 

Years ago, I had a buyer drive by the home they were about to purchase and converse with the seller.  They liked each other and it seemingly went well and promises were made to each other.

The seller had promised the buyer they were completely painting the home’s interior before the sale and the buyer could pick two colors of their choice.  A couple of days later, I got a phone call saying the painters were coming in two days, and the seller wanted the buyer’s color choices.  The buyers were freaking out, saying they needed to get an interior decorator in……  You get my drift. It turned into the buyer and seller being annoyed with each other and creating mistrust among both parties.

Even after all was said and done, the buyers had also promised the seller they could store items on one side of the garage for a month or two after the closing.  The final walk-through comes, and I say something about the one side being packed with items, including a Range Rover.  The buyers told me they already made arrangements with the seller.  Okay…. what can I do about it now?

Three months go by; the seller hasn’t picked up their stuff, then five months later, and the buyer is angry and yelling at me.  I told the buyer I was not made aware of the arrangement they had made and it was certainly not something I would have recommended in the first place.  And secondly, if the buyer insisted on allowing it, there is a way to protect their rights that I would have insisted on legally.

Another case of buyers and sellers having good intentions that turned bad.  When it comes to agreements about a property you are about to sell, it is essential that your agent is aware of them so they are handled properly and legally that protects your interest.

Reason #5 You Say Too Much

I am amazed at what sellers will say when I am out with my buyers showing houses. 

Unless asked, do not go into the details of why you are moving, if they feel you are under pressure they will use it as a bargaining chip.

And if you do answer, keep your answer short and sweet.  Don’t tell them your husband has a new job out in Ohio and you already bought a house, etc…  We decided its time to relocate is a perfectly fine answer.

On the other hand, I have had sellers complain about neighbors, the neighborhood or other negative aspects of the home or area, while speaking directly to the homebuyers.

Don’t talk about what is wrong with your house, or tell them how perfect your house is, don’t promise your house has never had a problem, or even talk about price, price reductions, offers on the table, etc…

Mum’s the word.

Summary Of Why Sellers Should Avoid Talking to Home Buyers Directly

While there may be a time and a place for buyers and sellers to talk directly with each other, those times are far and few in between.  It is usually recommended you limit interactions between the parties of a home sale. 

It is just going to be human nature to start talking.  You are going to want to be nice, accommodating and want to try to sell your house. 

The best thing you can do is keep conversations to a minimum and ask all questions go through your listing agent.  One simple question leads to another, that leads to another and then you are in a full-blown conversation with the homebuyers.

If you do find yourself caught in the situation, which I recommend you avoid in the first place, remember to keep your conversations based on facts about the property (not opinion), do not talk about people or assume you know what a home buyer is looking for or wants.

The goal is to move on from your house without future liability.  While most home sales end up just fine for home sellers, take the steps to protect yourself. 

One last note, most lawsuits between buyers and sellers arise out of disclosures about the property. How and what you disclose about your property is very important.

Words really do matter when it comes to real estate.  Choose your words wisely and think before you speak.  Better yet, you hired a listing agent, let them control the flow of information and document any conversations or communication about your home.

Other Home Selling Resources:

• Petra Norris  Tips to Get Your Home Sold
• Anita Clark  Home Selling Checklist
• Bill Gassett   Tax Deductions for Home Sellers
• Paul Sian  Should My Luxury Home Be Staged?

Why Home Sellers Should Avoid Talking to Home Buyers Directly was provided by Kevin Vitali of EXIT Group One Real Estate.  Kevin Vitali is a Massachusetts REALTOR® that services northern Middlesex county as well as Essex county in Massachusetts.  Are you thinking of listing your Tewksbury MA home or a home in the surrounding communities call Kevin at 978-360-0422